In a devastating blow to the Pittsburgh Steelers’ chances of defeating the Cleveland Browns, star linebacker Alex Highsmith has suffered a catastrophic injury setback that has left the team reeling.
According to sources close to the team, Highsmith’s injury is so severe that it has caused his body to spontaneously combust, leaving nothing but a smoldering pile of ashes in his wake.
But in a bizarre twist, the Steelers’ medical staff has managed to replace Highsmith’s body with a state-of-the-art cyborg, complete with laser eyes and rocket-powered legs.
Unfortunately, even the cyborg Highsmith will be unable to play in the upcoming game against the Browns, due to a rare and highly contagious case of “Robot Flu”.
“We’re devastated by the loss of Alex, even if he is a cyborg now,” said Steelers coach Mike Tomlin. “We’ll just have to find a way to win without him. Maybe we can activate our secret backup plan, which involves replacing the entire team with an army of robotic clones.”
